Originally Posted on | September 27, 2008
I started to write the first sentence of this update, and it sounded familiar. So I went back to the last update I wrote on Wednesday evening, and the beginning was identical. One of the things I do for a living is write, and I strive not to be redundant when I write. But I am not sure what else to say, so here it is again:
The last couple of days has brought us some good news.
First of all, we met with the neurologist, Dr. Karen Richards, on Thursday morning. John’s EEG was definitely improved over the initial one. Dr. Richards was optimistic about John’s prospects. Second, our little boy actually took some food by mouth! Not much, not for long, but he took it! Third, at times he has been breathing the same normal air that we all breathe, without extra oxygen. That goes back and forth, but is definitely progress in the right direction! Finally, it looks like we may be able to take John home in two or three weeks.
I could go on (and will below), but that is the good news of the last couple of days all wrapped up in a bundle (I also try to be concise when I write). Well, to really wrap it up, I’ll have to quote our neonatologist, Dr. Patrick Hodges: “John has really blossomed over the last couple of days. I don’t know if it is all the prayers or just time.” While we suspect time is a factor, we definitely vote for prayers as the first cause. Thank you for all of your prayers and support. They are as uplifting and comforting for Kelly, William, and me as they are healing for John.
Again, you can find this update, some new pictures, and the past updates at John’s CaringBridge site, http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/peacock. Also, in the not-too-distant future, I am going to switch to primarily using the Caring Bridge site for updates, and stop the mass emails. You can sign up at the Caring Bridge site to be notified when updates are posted. But some folks, like me, may prefer to have the updates sent directly to you via email, instead of having to go to a web site. If that is the case for you, please let me know, and I’ll add you to the email distribution list.
Things to pray for: 1) that John would take to the bottle and eventually begin to nurse, and that we can take him home soon without any tubes sticking out of his body, 2) that his breathing would normalize—he still has challenges getting enough oxygen in his system at times, 3) that his heart would continue to function well so we can avoid heart surgery anytime soon—and perhaps forever!, 4) that his brain would continue to heal and recover from the trauma and polymicrogyria, and 5) that God would faithfully fulfill His covenant promises and claim our little boy as His own for eternity. I’ll summarize all this by asking that you pray that God’s will be done in the Peacock family.
For those of you interested in more details, here they are:
Dr. Richards explained the changes in John’s EEG by hypothesizing that he had a trauma event prior to birth. That has been the speculation from the beginning, but there is no direct evidence, such as damage to the brain (thank the Lord!), a difficult birth (at least for John, Kelly has certainly had more pleasant experiences than the C-Section), or evidence of chord wrap. So she still thinks that in addition to polymicrogyria that has affected John’s brain, that much of the early problems could have been caused by the trauma. She called it a perfect storm. But while none of us want our children to be subject to this type of perfection, at least in this case it points to some potential positive outcomes. If all of John’s problems had been caused by the polymicrogyria—which is permanent, that might have been tough to overcome. But in the case of the traumatic event, John has the potential to recover from it (which he is doing to some degree at this point).
John’s initial EEG was NOT GOOD. But Dr. Richard’s explained that a newborn’s brain doesn’t have a lot of ways to tell us what is wrong with it. So different injuries of different severity can look very similar on an EEG in the first day or two after birth. The EEG at one week (which is what they did this week) offers a much better look at what the extent of the problem is. That is why it is so important that John’s EEG this week was much improved. And it holds out hope that John’s EEG will continue to improve—in fact, there is a possibility that it could return to normal. Though even if that occurs, John will still have the challenges of dealing with the potential effects of polymicrogyria.
Thursday was the first time they attempted to feed John with a bottle. They asked if we wanted to be there, and I said no, since I thought it might be discouraging if he didn’t take it. And he didn’t, and it was, even though we were not there. Dr. Hodges assured us that it would have been totally unexpected for John to take the bottle on the first try. But I KNEW that John was going to have at least some success soon, because we were there earlier on Thursday when a nurse put a pacifier in his mouth, and he quite clearly sucked on it about 6 times. “Once a sucker, always a sucker” is what I say. Of course, we are still a long way away from him being able to feed independent of his tube. So prayers still needed here.
So many people have so nicely commented after reading these updates about how faithful we are being. We very much appreciate folk’s encouragement. But Kelly and I don’t feel all that faithful; we generally feel tired and scared—though I must say we had a nice dinner out last night at the Fish City Grill in the Triangle with William and ran into some friends from church. Afterward, William ran around on the nice green space there. It felt almost normal. But it is not normal. At least, as much as we might want it to be at times, it will never be the old normal again. This is our new normal, whatever it may bring.
The following hymn by Horatius Bonar has been an important one to us—particularly Kelly—during times of trial. We thought we’d share it:
Thy way, not mine, O Lord,
However dark it be;
Lead me by Thine own hand,
Choose out the path for me.
Smooth let it be or rough,
It will be still the best;
Winding or straight, it leads
Right onward to Thy rest.
I dare not choose my lot;
I would not, if I might;
Choose Thou for me, my God,
So I shall walk aright.
Take Thou my cup, and it
With joy or sorrow fill,
As best to Thee may seem;
Choose Thou my good and ill.
Choose Thou for me my friends,
My sickness or my health;
Choose Thou my cares for me
My poverty or wealth.
The kingdom that I seek
Is Thine: so let the way
That leads to it be Thine,
Else I must surely stray.
Not mine, not mine the choice
In things or great or small;
Be Thou my Guide, my Strength
My Wisdom, and my All.